I Am

Most people come to a spiritual path carrying two things: a history of choices they wish they could undo, and a hope that someone or something will come and make it right. This teaching speaks to both.

It is short, and it was spoken rather than written. It is meant to be heard as much as read. Read it slowly. Read it aloud if you can.

The talk sits at the root of the Five Gates. Breath, Focus, Accountability, Wisdom, and Temperament are all practices. This teaching is the understanding that makes those practices possible. Each gate assumes that you are the one doing the work. Here is where that assumption is named.

As you read, hold these questions:

The main thing to know about Sum Wah is this: we are not battling against belief. Sum Wah is a system of knowing.

Spiritual systems often come up at odds with other systems. Some borrow from older traditions and lay a new belief on top of old rituals. Sum Wah has no desire to copy rituals of believing.

What Sum Wah does is give you a way to understand yourself and understand reality. Then you make the best of what you have. You have the capacity to learn and grow and to be physically present. You can respect the physiology of your thinking, which often shows up as emotion. And you can navigate the emotional places that lead to sadness, isolation, and depression.

Feelings are still feelings. Sadness may still come. So may disappointment and regret. But joy, peace, fulfillment, and satisfaction will come abundantly.

The light of Sum Wah is understanding that you are your liberator.

You are your salvation. This is not the denial of a deified savior. You are already here. You are that savior.

Your decisions have been building your life as you know it. But it is time for a conscious change.

Everything you have chosen, you chose for a reason. It served a purpose in your life.

Let me be clear with you about what I mean by "for a reason." I am not talking about a supernatural, hidden reason or an external spiritual intervention. There are no hidden plans behind it. We create all meaning in this life. It always makes perfect sense on its own.

Your mind figured out what you needed. Maybe it was connection. Maybe it was validation, or belonging. Maybe it was loneliness. When a desire becomes need, it creates desperation. Then we must have that need met.

So we decide how to meet it. We choose based on how much we value ourselves. We choose based on how we see ourselves. And we choose based on what we have access to at the time.

That is why we sometimes stayed in bad situations longer than we wanted to. That is why some choices ended badly. We were lacking information, or thought we were being manipulated, or shaped by our environment. We chose from where we were at that point in our lives.

Our thinking is limited at times. That is part of the growth. It is part of what we are here to experience.

So own those choices. Accept them, without shame. When we are not clear, things go wrong. When we are unaware of our motivations, things go wrong. When we cannot face who we are being, things go wrong. And there is a way out. There is a way to be free.

Accept that we are imperfect but are also cultivating our Light. Make choices, own them, and learn from them.

Come back to the breath. Come back to the body. Come back to the presence of now. Be with yourself fully and completely.

Be conscious in every moment. This is not the anxious kind of self-consciousness. It is awareness, and an ease that says: